MOVIE | 1h 13m | Open in IMDB | | / 6.6 (25)
Comedy | The film's talking introduction has studio chief Pat Buttram screening "The last silent movie ever made!" for five beautiful starlets. Buttram narrates the following story with his trademark Western drawl: The advertising agency of Bobble, Bangle, And Bead, under slave-driving Boss (Paul Lynde), represents the Din-Din Credit Card Club (based on the now defunct Diner's Club). His beautiful secretary Candy Applebaum (Sherry Jackson) suggests a contest to promote Din-Din with the winner getting ten thousand 1968 dollars if he lives on the card without cash for two weeks. Candy finds beachcomber Ned Swell (Marty Ingels), with only a Kennedy half-dollar to his name. She promises she'll be his girlfriend if he wins the contest. When the Boss warns the smitten schlemiel, "No cash!", Ned tosses the half-dollar into the sand. Swell's spending spree makes national headlines with the press (including Hollywood reporter Army Archerd) following him everywhere. Swell charges a new suit of clothes from a tailor (Nick Adams), before wrecking a charged rental car in front of the agency manager (Barry Sullivan). Ned charges flowers for Candy from a prissy, ballet-leaping florist (played by movie tough guy Aldo Ray)! Swell checks into a fancy hotel run by manager (Richard Deacon) and his snide concierge (Godfrey Cambridge). Elderly bellhop (Charley Weaver) carries Ned's heavy bags into his hotel room, and expires with perfect comic timing! Swell charges the bellhop's funeral on the Din-Din card! Room service sends up a seductive manicurist (Maureen Arthur in skimpy French maid outfit) but Candy suddenly arrives to declare her love for Ned! Keeping them separate until they leave, Ned sends for a hotel masseuse dreaming of a Scandinavian beauty. A male masseuse (Wally Cox) appears! Swell files to Las Vegas and at the Frontier Casino lets a poor old lady (Rose Marie) hit the jackpot on his winning number. After a fruitless trip to Hawaii, Ned returns to Los Angeles Airport and hops into a taxi cab that is actually a military limousine driven by a navy officer (Forrest Tucker) who thinks he's a deserter! Swell convinces the Admiral (Rod Serling) he was honorably discharged before charging a twenty-seven-million-dollar battleship on his Din-Din card! The Bobble, Bangle, and Bead agency is ruined and the Boss vows to murder Swell. In the hotel bar, the bartender (Del Moore), weary of Ned's requests for chocolate milk with wheat germ, uses straight vodka. An intoxicated Swell is seduced by a long-legged, curvaceous, "working girl" (shown only from the back). When Candy sees the voucher "for services rendered", she dumps Ned with a curse movie audiences can lip-read! The Boss fires a gun at Ned's empty suit on the hotel bed and is arrested by a detective and his bumbling officer (Dan Rowan & Dick Martin as Laurel & Hardy)! The Boss makes bond and changes into a Navy uniform with sword, vowing to slash Swell into pieces. The hotel hosts a lodge convention and lodge members keep mistaking the uniformed Boss for a grand knight, carrying him away before he can kill Ned! Candy and the Boss chase a towel-clad Ned out of a shower! Swell runs to the boardwalk where he bumps into the ice cream cones of a tourist (Peter Lawford) and annoys a serious fisherman (Jerry Lewis). Ned takes shelter on stage in the disappearing cabinet of a magician's (Carl Ballantine) act. The Boss materializes from the cabinet box and pursues Ned, who loses his towel. An old lady in the audience screams "Sex maniac!", and police arrest the Boss! Candy dumps Ned, who spitefully marries the lady of the evening (Phyllis Diller). At city hall, Ned can't use his Din-Din Card for a marriage license. Standing behind him in line with his girlfriend (the hotel manicurist) a nervous counterfeiter (Jackie Coogan) hands him two bucks. Swell takes the money but forfeits the contest. Ned Swell returns to the beach, flat broke when Candy appears with a representative from the agency. A newspaper headline says the counterfeiter was arrested for passing fake money including Ned's two dollars which invalidated the marriage. He wins the contest! Candy forgives him because she learned of the bartender's spiked drinks. A wiser Ned Swell gives the check back to the agency saying it should go to the needy. He and Candy will start fresh like everyone else. In the sand Ned finds the Kennedy half-dollar he tossed away in the beginning. Their happiness is cut short when the Boss, in uniform with sword, rises out of the sand and chases the young lovers down the beach!